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[05 Aug 2006|09:41am] |
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mood |
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 excited |
] |
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music |
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Always by Saliva |
] |
Happy Birthday To Me
and david and justine
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| I'm Finding, It's Not Easy To Be Perfect. |
[04 Aug 2006|04:49pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
] |
Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I’m looking into the eyes of He who made me and
To Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me yeah yeah
Who are you to tell me
that I’m less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you? yeah yeah
I don’t need to listen
to the list of things I should do
I won’t try; no I won’t try.
YOU DON'T DEFINE ME.
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| I pick myself off the floor. |
[02 Aug 2006|07:24pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Always by Saliva |
] |
I hear, a voice say "Don't be so blind". It's telling me all these things. That you would probably hide. Am I, your one and only desire. Am I the reason you breathe. Or am I the reason you cry?. Always, always, always, always, always, always. I just can't live without you. I love you. I hate you. I can't get around you. I breathe you. I taste you. I can't live without you. I just can't take anymore. It's like a solid cell, I guess that I'm out the door. And now I'm done with you. Done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you. I feel, like you don't want me around. I guess I'll pack all my things. I guess I'll see you around. It's all, been bottled up until now. As I walk out your door. All I can hear is the sound. Always, always, always, always, always, always. I just can't live without you.I love you. I hate you. I can't get around you. I breathe you. I taste you.
I can't live without you. I just can't take anymore. Its like a solid cell, I guess that I'm out the door. And now I'm done with you. I love you. I hate you. I can't live without you.
I left my head around your heart, Why would you tear my world apart? Always, always, always, always. I see, the blood all over your hands. Does it make you feel, more like a man. Was it all, just a part of your plan? The pistol's shakin' in my hands. And all I hear is the sound....
I love you. I hate you. I can't live around you. I breathe you. I taste you. I can't live without you. I just can't take anymore. Its like a solid cell,
I guess that i'm out the door. And now i'm done with you. I love you. I hate you. I can't live without you. I love you. I hate you. I can't live without you. I just can't take anymore
Its like a solid cell, I pick myself off the floor, And now i'm done with you.
Always
Always
Always.
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[27 Jul 2006|12:19am] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
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music |
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Sunglasses At Night by Corey Hart |
] |
I'm so happy that my sunshine and I are talking again.
I missed her.
<3
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| If You're Not Going To Read The Whole Thing, Then Don't Bother Reading At All. |
[20 Jul 2006|12:47am] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
] |
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music |
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What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts |
] |
1st of all, when I use the word "you", it's not pointed at one person. it's in a general sense.
2nd, if you don't care about what I have to say, then stop reading.
I'm 15.....almost.
but i'm not your average 15 year old. that's not being conceited. that's saying that i've been through so much that a 15 year old shouldn't have to deal with at 15.
I know what i've done wrong. I know that I HAVE done wrong. you don't have to point it out to me. but i'm trying to fix it. i'm trying to be a better friend...better sister...a better DAUGHTER. i've been very good so far, and I plan on staying like that. but of course, they don't believe me. because i've lost their trust. I realize that losing your parent's trust is a BIG issue....it's been 6 months....and I just wish they would take the time to look at their only daughter and see the changes that she's made.
i'm better now.
i'm not a bad kid...I swear.
This is the only bad thing i've done....and i'm pretty sure you all know what i'm talking about. I make one bad decision, and everything is taken away from me. alot of things have been given back to me....but it still hurts. it hurts knowing that your parents don't trust anything you say...anything you do. even though everything you say and do now, it is the truth. i'm not stupid....I won't make the same decision again....i'm not willing to go through hell again. though alot of people seem to think I will make that mistake again. they're wrong.
seeing him cry was bad enough....without all the other punishments. i've only seen him cry 2 other times after that. and I can't stand to watch it.
and having her flash me dirty looks everytime she sees me doesn't help anything. but honestly, I COULDN'T CARE LESS. I have a problem with her and she has a problem with me. I don't talk to her and she don't talk to me. win-win situation.
i'd do anything to rewind and do things over again. but part of me isn't sorry because at that point in time, everything I did was exactly what I wanted and everything in that relationship made me happy.
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| Oh hey hey hey. Oh pretty pretty shy. whoop, whoop. |
[10 Jul 2006|04:50pm] |
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mood |
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 grumpy |
] |
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music |
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Fever of the Flava by Hot Action Cop |
] |
Mystery Weekend was great. Though I got sick on the way home...but that's o-k. I felt alot better after wards. On Thursday, we of course spent the night at the church. The boys from Ortega came over to play dodge ball with our boys. So me and Brittany and Abby decided to go down to the gym and check out the Ortega boys. We liked what we saw. :) Brittany, Abby, Lauren Harris and I stayed up till about 5:30 a.m. we only got about an hour of sleep.
I have alot of reading to do. I have to read 3 books for school and I haven't even started on the 1st one yet. I guess i'll start reading today.
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| And All My Sand Castles Spend Their Time Collapsing. |
[06 Jul 2006|03:07pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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You by Switchfoot |
] |
I wish I had what I needed. To be on my own. 'Cause I feel so defeated. And I'm feeling alone. And it all seems so helpless. And I have no plans. I'm a plane in the sunset. With nowhere to land. And all I see. It could never make me happy. And all my sand castles
spend their time collapsing. Let me know that You hear me. Let me know Your touch. Let me know that You love me. Let that be enough. It's my birthday tomorrow. No one here could know.
I was born this Thursday. 22 years ago. And I feel stuck. Watching history repeating. Yeah, who am I?. Just a kid who knows he's needy. Let me know that You hear me. Let me know Your touch. Let me know that You love me. And let that be enough.
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| Today Was Gonna Be The Day, But They'll Never Throw It Back To You. |
[06 Jul 2006|02:58pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Slide by Goo Goo Dolls |
] |
So we're leaving for mystery weekend tomorrow. WHOO! Personally, I like mystery weekend. I like not knowing where we're going. I like to just sit back in the bus and not have to think about where i'm going. But alot of people are like, "I hate not knowing! It's not fair." So what if you don't know where you're heading. Just sit back and enjoy everything. Take it all in. Look out the window and enjoy the scenery. Don't waste your time thinking "Oh what if we're going here! No, I think we're going here." Just let the bus take you where it desires.
--Put your arms around me.
What you feel is what you are, and
what you are is beautiful.--
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| Gahhh. |
[05 Jul 2006|12:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Only In Dreams by Weezer |
] |
My face is peeling. Boo.
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| 4th Of July....Woopee |
[04 Jul 2006|10:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Your Evil Soul by The Spill Canvas |
] |
So, today was pretty boring. I sat at home all morning, and then went to my parent's friend's house for a 4th of July party....and we go to their house every Thanksgiving, every Christmas, every Easter, and every 4th of July. And every time we go, I sit there...the whole time. there is NO ONE my age. Not even close to my age. It's the same story every time we go. Oh well. When I get a car, I can just go and say hi, and then leave after I eat. And I didn't even get to go and se any fireworks. No one would take me any where. Now I feel like a huge part of my 4th of July is missing. grrrrr.
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| I'm an August baby...and what!? |
[02 Jul 2006|02:25pm] |
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mood |
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creative |
] |
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music |
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self-conclusion by The Spill Canvas |
] |
They say that August babies:
1.Outgoing personality.-It's true, I do.
2.Takes risks.-I do...sometimes they get me in alot of trouble.
3.Feeds on attention.-Mmmm....note entirely true.
4.Kind hearted.-most of the time
5.Self confident.-not so much.
6.Loud and boisterous.-haha
7.VERY revengeful.-oooooh yes.
8.Easy to get along with and talk to.-I am
9.Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude.-not all the time
10.Likes talking and singing.-I do
11.Loves music.-it's my favorite
12.Daydreamer.-a big one
13.Easily distracted.-haha
14.Hates not being trusted.-yep
15.BIG imagination.-the biggest
16.Loves to be loved.-of course....who doesn't
17.Hates studying.-absolutely hate it
18.In need of "that someone".-actually, this august baby has already found hers
19.Longs for freedom.-one of my many longings
20.Rebellious when withheld or restricted.haha...yep...that's correct.
21.Lives by "no pain no gain" caring.-oh yea
22.Always a suspect.-not ALWAYS
23.Playful.-very.
24.Mysterious.-people tell me that all the time
25."charming" or "beautiful" to everyone.-i hope so
26.curious.-very
27.Independent.-Miss Independent.
28.Strong willed.-it's true
29.A fighter.-i fight for what i want.
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| Sunburn and Driving |
[02 Jul 2006|12:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Glycerin by Bush |
] |
I was at the beach for 5 and a half hours yesterday with brittany and abby. I love the beach, but not for that long at one time. The front of me is pretty tan. But my back......my back is as red as the background on my brother's myspace. And that's pretty red. It sucks and I hurt. I've never gotten sunburned before. I know that sunburn hurts, but i didn't know it hurt this bad. oh well....at least it will turn brown.
I get my permit in 33 days. I'm so excited. And tonight after youth, my dad is letting me drive in the back parking lot. Whew!
------>Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you<------
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| I'm In Love With This Quote. |
[26 Jun 2006|10:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Two Zero Two by Northstar |
] |
---->I bet you don't REMEMBER me......
only every O T H E R memory////
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| Hope You Understand. |
[24 Jun 2006|07:12pm] |
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mood |
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okay |
] |
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music |
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Crashing Down by Sugarcult |
] |
Real Eyes......Realize......Real Lies
Hope that you were able to understand that. I had to read it a few times before I actually got it.
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| Groupies? I Don't Think So. |
[23 Jun 2006|01:22pm] |
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mood |
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creative |
] |
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music |
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Why by Clearview |
] |
So, here's what's been going down since Sunday night.
Two bands, one called Clearview and one called Kiros came to our church Sunday night after homecoming. They were talking to Mrs. Stiles and they needed a place to crash because they were playing at Murray Hill on wednesday and they had no place to stay until then. So they crashed at our church. Well, Brittany, Abby and I went out to the back of the CAC so that we could "accidently" run into them. And we did. We met them, exchanged names, and we started talking with them. They invited us to their concert on wednesday. Anywho, Brittany and I went back up to the church on Monday so that we could chill with them. So, we became pretty tight with the boys. And now Brittany and Galen have a thing, and I like one of the guys in Kiros...not sure if he knows that I do, so i'm not going to say who it is...just incase.
MY VIEWS.....
*CLEARVIEW*:
Galen-The Drummer- The Pretty boy in the group, but also somewhat of a rebel.
Jordan/Stevie-The Bass Player- He's the shy one, but he's so cool once you get to know him. Also very cute.
Jeremy-The Singer/Screamer- The dad in the group. He's very cool, funny, and cute, but when someone needs to put their foot down and handle things, he does.
Justin-Lead Guitar- Very cute and outgoing, but by looking at him, you would think he was the typical punk rebel that does bad things, but really, he's not like that at ALL.
*KIROS*:
Barry-Bass/Vocals- He's cute funny and charming. He's like a big brother but doesn't treat you like you're 5 years old.
John-Guitar- I didn't really talk to him at all...so he's a mystery.
Chris-The Drummer- He's tall and crazy. He seems liks the outgoing one in the group. And he has a lip ring.
Ryan-Guitar- Ryan, Ryan, oh Ryan. He's very attractive and an amazing guy. He's the flirtatious one who is also a lady's man.
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| I'm Carrying Your Heart In Mine. |
[21 Jun 2006|03:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Beautiful Love by The Afters |
] |
Must be your skin, I'm sinkin' in
must be for real, cause' now I can feel
and I didn't mind, it's not my kind,
not my time, to wonder why
everything's gone white, and everythings gray
now you're here, now you're away
I don't want this, remember that
I'll never forget, where you're at....
Don't let the days go by...
Glycerin
I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time
are you at one, or do you lie
We live in a wheel, were everyone steals
but when we rise it's like straberry feilds
I treated you bad, you bruised my face
Couldn't love you more, you got a bueatiful taste....
Don't let the days go by...
Could of been easier on you, I couldn't change though I wanted to..
Should of been easier by three, our old friend fear and you and me
Glycerin
Glycerin
I needed you more
You wanted us less
Could Not Kiss
just regress
and it might just be..
clear and simple and plain..
that's just fine
That's Just One Of My Names
Don't Let The Days Go By
Could Of Been Easier On You
Glycerin
Glycerin
Glycerin
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[19 Jun 2006|08:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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lazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Break Me by Kiros |
] |
I stole this from Ryan...I hope he doesn't mind.
Love.
Love is why great things are accomplished in our world and the absence of love is why great things that are meant to be accomplished are not accomplished. One of the biggest downfalls in our world in the never ending quest for love is an ever increasing lack of truth. Love is something that we all want to find and want to experience and want to have, but the path to it has become so jaded by the superficial standards of this world. Our world will destine each of us for mediocrity, but it is up to us to embrace truth and love and to accept our destiny of excellence that is ever available to us as long as we simply accept it.
When it comes down to it, we all have the ability to make a real difference in this world. We are all here for a reason. We all have a purpose, we all have hope, and we definitely have a future ahead of all of us. However, when it comes down to it, making this kind of a difference in this world is a choice. Greatness and excellence are available to all of us, but we must choose them and strive for them with all that we have. It is easy to look at life in the limited scope of your own life and what directly affects you, it takes real courage to realize that there is a whole world out there full of people that were created to be loved.
Is it just me...or are there a lot of big words used in those two paragraphs?
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[18 Jun 2006|02:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Wonderwall by Oasis |
] |
you pick me up when i fall down. you make me laugh when i am crying. you heal my pain when i am hurting. you comfort me when i feel out of place. when i am scared you hold my hand. but most of all you are there when no one else is.
I LOVE YOU.
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[17 Jun 2006|07:17pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
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music |
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Slide by Goo Goo Dolls |
] |
I don't understand why things have to hurt so bad.
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